Buried yet Alive

Remember me?

I know you must've hurled a thousand curses seeing my name in your inbox after ages. In fact this is my first mail to all my lovely ones in the last 3 months 2 weeks 5 days 7 hours 36 minutes and 44 seconds (APPROXIMATELY)......

Sorry yaar...I am extremely sorry for not being in touch in the last 2-3 months. Life has changed a lot. For better or worse? I donno :(

Our college fest got over yesterday. It was so hectic and charged up that now I'm lying in my bed with slight fever and cough.

The best part was the Quiz. The guy who organized it (Parnab Mukherjee) is one of the rarest gems I've met in my life. He is a journalist who is also heavily into theatre (top 15 in India). He claims to have interviewed people like Saddam Hussein, Fidel Castro, Nelson Mandela among others. It seems he also won the Gold at the International Debating Contest at Princeton Univ.

The best thing about the bugger is his authority. He doesn’t use any paper, flashcard, material at all. Just takes the mike and starts asking hi-fi questions. There are rounds like "Anything under the Sun' where you can choose any topic of your choice and then he screws you on it. I MEAN IT. Anyways, finally IIM A won the first prize and walked away with Rs 50,000.

Digressing, MBA life is weird. We don’t read much, don’t play much, don’t freak out much. Yet, we are always busy. More mental than physical. Only God knows what's happening :(

Anyways, here are the collective updates for the last many months:

BAD & UGLY:

1. I screwed my exams. But that's no aberration. My acads have never made anyone jealous. I believe in spreading happiness.

2. My summer interviews did not go well. Felt horrible when most of my dream companies (Asian Paints, Coke) did not even shortlist me. Unfortunately for me FMCG companies prefer freshers for summers. Then I tried to crack Dr. Reddy’s Labs to be able to come to Hyderabad and meet my old friends. But even they did not shortlist me ;-(. Tomorrow Ernst&Young is coming. Let’s see what happens.
(Latest update: Got E&Y!! That makes mine one of the best placements of the batch)

4. Had a very ordinary birthday when all my friends forgot to wish me. Anyway, the good part is that now I don’t have to remember anybody's. Big relief to my elusive head!!

5. Lost the flair for writing. I consider this my greatest loss in recent times. In Hyd, I really used to enjoy writing. But now, as you can clearly see, I am struggling to frame sentences.

FINE & GOOD

1. Picked up some photography. Sending two pics I shot sometime back. They received good reviews here.

2. Have researched a lot in advertising. I also made some ads and posters which were big hit here. Attaching one with this mail.

3. I’ve lost 2 kgs.

Are you not tired reading? Well, I’m definitely tired typing this marathon mail.

Phir Milte Hain!!

~Gattu

MBA fundas:

“If you can’t make it good, make it look good” - Bill Gates

Seven Wonders

An ad I created in my first year of MBA.

Aala re aala re....

Hi all,

How are you all?

Yes, I've reached 'aamchi mumbai'. Life is going just OK. Still to settle down properly here. But I am missing Hyderabad and my friends terribly.

The weather here is horrible. It rains 24 hours a day with some breaks in between.

The college is pretty good. But my hostel is very antiquated in appearance. I hate that fact because it acts like a mental depressant. I’ll soon be changing my hostel to a relatively new one as I find it difficult to see these walls around me. But thankfully the campus is very scenic. I am attaching a picture of the campus.

Food is not great though it is expensive. But as it is dry it helps people like me who are dieting. So I have no probs.

My colleagues here are nice and friendly. Around 15-20% of the batch is Telugu. 30% of the batch is from Infy, TCS or Cognizant. But you won’t be bothered about these data, so ya, 15% of the batch is feminine.

I did not see many traditions here. However there was one which I’d like to mention. All freshers are grouped into teams WITH ONE GAL in each team. Now each team is supposed to stage a VULGAR skit in the hostel at 10:30 pm in front of everybody. As I joined late, I could see only the last ones. And believe me, they were really really vulgar, filled with double meaning dialogues and gestures. I'm feeling shy even to write those dialogues here. But some of them were damn hilarious particularly the one where a team made a spoof of ‘Sholay’. Everybody was in total splits.

There are some other events coming up. Let’s see how they go.

Classes are going OK. But I don’t see students giving much importance to acads. It looks like a typical engineering college where acads is a 'one-day-match'.

That’s it guys. Keep writing to me. Love.

Take Care,
~Gattu.

PS: I have not seen the leopards yet. Seems like they have started hiding after I came ;)

Life by the window...

Was just wondering if you ever looked out of the window back in your home? Ever tried freezing life for a moment? Ever analysed the picture we instantaneously recognize but never identify with? Those semi-baked roads, honking cabs, hurrying office-goers, cursing pedestrians, screeching vendors, autowallahs yelling at each other..etc etc. Oh! the picture looks so familiar!!

Come closer and I'll show you more.

The picture has a nine-year-old Sai who sells tea on the pavements. He occasionally chats with his younger brother Seenu (6) who boot polishes nearby. They both love listening to songs on the old radio and munching groundnuts among other things. But they hate the group of Ajay (13), Wasim (9) and Venkat (11), the rag-pickers, who bully them for money and sheer entertainment. Thank God, they have a friend in Raju (13), the car-washer, who protects them each time.

Do not form your opinion, my friend, for each of them is too young to be rated good or bad. So young that they do not know that they are destined for a life not worth living. Poor them.

Don't you think these orphaned children are unfortunate souls? Have you never felt sorry for them? Don't you think you can, or rather should, do something to make them smile?

Well, actually you can do much more than you can possibly imagine. For the time being, just assemble on the Terrace on 25^th June and have a talk with us.

~WE Team.
(CSR Team of my former employer)

Garaj Baras Sawan Gir Aayo

My Dear Countrymen,

Shucks!! These bloody spelling mistakes. Lemme say it again...

My Dear ‘Country Men’,

I wish to inform you once again that you are reading the world's only monthly newsletter that comes with a delay of about 1-2 months. Eeek....... Sorry chaps, I was too lazy to write. Actually writing isn’t all that bad, but it is typing which is a major pain. I am looking for social workers amongst you who are willing to share my load. Any eyebrow interested?

Sorry, I got too optimistic. My mistake.

Anyway, this time I've come to you with tons to distribute. Please take your seats.

Movies: Have finished all the worth-watching movies(Eng + Hin + Tel) of the season (except Lakshya which I soon will). However I'm skipping this section, as the others are pretty bulky.

Places: After two years I finally got to travel a bit. Since the time I wrote to you last I've been to Bangalore, Bombay, Vizag, Vijaywada and Nizamabad. It was great meeting my old friends in these cities. None of them has changed much except in volume.

Sports: The World TT Championship was held in Hyderabad. After several rounds of blatant cheating the scoreboard look like this –

Gold – Afghanistan (Ashok)
Silver – India (Yours Truly)
Bronze – Somalia (Kalyan)

The ‘Fair Play’ trophy went to India. For more details, log on to www.espnstar.com

Books: Hmm.....I have a MIGHTY score here. Incidentally all the books I read this time revolve around women.

For some reasons I suddenly developed a fascination for Mrs. Sudha Murthy and her work. So impressed I was with one of her speeches that I went to the library and picked up her book 'Wise and Otherwise'. Unfortunately I did not find it as hard-hitting as Kiran Bedi's 'What Went Wrong'; but that doesn’t dent my admiration towards her. These nice humans are the reason behind a million smiles. They are well educated, helpful and extremely simple. I hope there are unmarried females like that.

I had been eyeing Kushwant Singh's 'The Company of Women' for a long time. But as its cover was a little ‘odd’ I cud not get it issued and take home. The day my mom left for UP this book entered my room. My God, the old man is bloody naughty and frank despite being 80plus. The book was...hmm…Utterly Butterly Delicious ;)

Here comes the big one. Seldom do we come across books that we know we’ll never forget in our lifetime. I was absolutely impressed and shaken by this author's language and outspokenness. Please read Tehmina Durrani's 'My Feudal Lord'. Its a real story of a Pakistani woman's fight against her family, her husband and her society. She belongs to one of the most influential families of her country. Her father was a top bureaucrat. Her husband (Mustafa Khar) was Zulifikar Bhutto's protégé who later became a minister in Benazir's cabinet. She had all material comforts a normal person can only dream about. But ……

This book has it all - love, power, politics, dreams, drama and deception. Has been translated into 26 languages worldwide. Get your copy soon.

I also spent some time with a few other books (English Patient, Rich Dad Poor Dad, Pride and Prejudice..) but left them incomplete. They did not interest me enuff.

Adios Amigo:
Life is a strange journey. Just when you think you are settled at a place it pushes you elsewhere. Dear friends, after two very very unforgettable years in Hyderabad, I have just got pushed towards Bombay. When I say ‘unforgettable’ here, I mean it 200%. I have seen the best of my times in these 2 years. I’ve also seen my worst times.

By the way, this was my first stay in Hyderabad since my birth, discounting the summer vacations I spent as a kid. I never had a special attachment to this place before. But now, I am really proud that I belong to this city. Just lemme make my career and a lil money and I’ll be BACK!!

I wish to thank every Hyderabadi I’ve met here. I won’t forget you ever; trust me. My special thanks to Ashok, Kalyan, Rakesh, KK, Kiran Tauro, BTS, Shyam and some others whose names I don’t want to mention. You’ve booked your place in my autobiography.

Take Care.
~Praveen/Gattu/Jugs.


Random Strokes:

I believe all men suffer from a genetic disease – Speedomania. Every man tries to hit escape-velocity (approx 11 km/sec) on his Ferrari/BMW/Pulsar/Chetak/Luna. I am no different. When my mood is at the extremes and when I see no danger ahead, I stop biking…I just fly. It needs a special force for people like me to get back to normalcy.

I saw this wonderful ad featuring a big picture of a cute baby under which it was written – 'Someone’s waiting at home. Drive slow'.

Trust me, this ad works!!

2004 - Ek Prem Katha

Caution: Intellects, Brainy, Geniuses NO ENTRY!!

Wait. Lemme take a headcount. One, Two, Three……Yup!! all my friends are in.

Welcome aboard!!

Skipping all formalities I'll directly move to the main-course.

First Love:
I finally brought my LOVE home. It’s a young, muscular, dark, sexy, sweet, chunni-munni, koochi-koochi – Bajaj Pulsar. I just cant stop loving it; stays on my mind 24/7. We undoubtedly make the hottest gay pair of the town. And you know what, we sometimes even ..[ CLIP CLIP CLIP … the contents mentioned here were extremely immodest/immoral and hence were censored. – I&B Ministry, GoI ]

Movies:
Took one off my lo..ng pending list. Watched ‘No Man’s Land’. I agree it’s a class film. But I cant fathom why ‘Lagaan’ had to lose against it at the Oscars. Lagaan was equally good, if not better.

Hyderabad Film Club finally took a refreshing break from the boring French/Iranian films. Last month’s flavour was Chinese.

I happen to have an insatiable appetite for simple love stories. Stories depicting ordinary characters, not-so-ordinary love, realistic problems and extraordinary sacrifices. ‘Johua Cha’ (Love Story By Tea) had them all. Loved it.

Southern Spice: Watched 'Sathyam'. Hmm...some dialogues are good. Last weekend we (Ashok, Kallu & I) watched ‘Malleshwari’…...usual trash…..but we might watch it again……. Katrina Kaif ke liye itna toh kar sakte hain ;)

Books:
I'm reading Sylvia Nasar's 'A Beautiful Mind'. I was surprised to learn that it's actually a book on Extra-Terrestrials. Here you encounter characters like John von Neumann, who at the age of 6, could divide two eight digit numbers, mentally; and by 12, was reading the latest treatises on Pure Math. There are others like Enrico De Giorgi who attempted to prove the existence of God through Mathematics. And of course the protagonist, John Nash, who at 19, took an appointment with the Pope of Physics(Albert Einstein), to discuss with him what he thought were the flaws in his(yes, Einstein's) theories.

Yeh book mat pado mere bhai. Inferiority complex se mar jaoge.

But this book reinforced my belief that God is a Jew.

Romeo & Majnu:
First love can be dangerously energetic. Learnt the lesson the harder way. Normally a good fall from a heavy bike helps you multiply your bones. Thank God, I missed that treatment. I just had to part with small amounts of skin on my wrists and knees. And a good dress too :(

That same day I attended the Brand Equity Quiz. It was good. Everybody goes there for knowledge. I go there to watch the display of Derek’s quick-wit. He can make people laugh continuously for 2 hrs. I envy him.

Aur kya bolun ? Haan, yehan par Chunnu, Munnu, Babloo, Dabloo, Pinky, sab kushal mangal hai. Mausiji ki beti(Chutki) ki shaadi pakki ho gayi. Ladka umrika mein taxi chalata hai. Babuji ka theek se khayal rakhna. Time par davai dena.

Jai Ram Ji Ki.

~Bholu
Rampur.


Wee bits:

I love good replies.

There was this director(forgot his complex name) who was notorious for making abstract movies. Very few people understood them. Once a reporter trying to mock him asked a cheeky question.

Reporter: Sir, don’t you think a movie should have a beginning, a middle and an end ??
Director: It should. But not necessarily in the same order.

Jugs & Mugs Corner:

I’ve tortured you with this newsletter for a long time. But the people who dislike me should actually hate the people who like me, for it is they who drive me. Understood? ….OK OK lemme give some respect to your IQ.

Next month’s issue will have a historic importance, so I want it to be different from the stereotypical ‘I did this’ script. I am at my wits’ end trying to think of a new theme. Any brilliant ideas you have ?

Heavier than Heaven

MORPHEUS: Do you believe in fate, Neo?
NEO: No.
MORPHEUS: Why not?
NEO: Because I don't like the idea that I'm not in control of my life.

How many of us are Neos here?

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Scene II

This has got to be the lousiest mail I'll ever have written. I'm sorry.

Dear Friends,

Lemme first take you by surprise --> Happy Anniversary!!

Long ago, on a lonely evening I had written a small newsletter to half a dozen of my best buddies. Since that time I kept on adding all the interesting people I met in my daily life. Many mails got exchanged. Many stories, many experiences, many opinions, many confessions. For the first time in my life I started to empathize with numerous real life characters. Slowly, this casually initiated program transformed into a project of gargantuan importance in my life.

Yes, the beginning was small. But after one year, I'm proud to say that this group is a microcosm of my generation. Everyone's here - Students, Engineers, Doctors, MBAs, Research Scholars, Entrepreneurs, Commerce Grads, Writers, Software Professionals, Advertisers and even a Housewife!! Asking for more will make me a greedy person.

Majority of you are people who have grown up along with me in various hostels. We've shared books, jeans, ties, plates, boots, belts, socks....u name it. But at the same time, a good number of you have never even seen me. Never heard my voice. No handshakes ever. But that doesn't make us mysterious strangers. In fact it just goes to prove that despite our very distinct identities we all are the same at a very high plain. We all are a part of a wonderful Matrix. And this one is for REAL!!

May our tribe grow.

"Phoolon ki har kali khushboo de aapko;
Suraj ki har kiran roshini de aapko.
Hum toh kuch dene ke kaabil nahi;
Dene wala har kushi de aapko."

~ Praveen/GP/Gattu/Jugs

PS: It took me quite a while to think of an appropriate subject to this mail. I finally gave it the name of a legend's biography. Ten years ago (1994), he had committed suicide. The legend was Kurt Cobain.